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Joke of the Day

"got bored and went to Home Depot wearing an orange apron to see how good i am at making up answers to peoples home repair questions"

"[NSFW] If you're born with a penis you're a boy, a vagina, you're a girl, but...... If your born with a couple of cunts for parents then you're probably gender neutral"

"How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw"

"Her pussy was such the color purple Oprah winfrey starred as the clit"

"if i ever spontaneously combust, i hope it's around somebody i don't like and that they're wearing their favorite outfit."

"I'm a responsible person. People are always saying ""I know you're responsible for this."""

"April showers bring May flowers Mayflowers bring Smallpox."

"""Do you have anything with 3-5 pounds of rhinestones on the ass?"" Upper-middle class ladies shopping for jeans"

"So the Asian guy from the Human Centipede has a Twitter account... He's not very popular though. He only has two people following him."

"Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time."