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Joke of the Day

"Hahaha this stupid baby on the bus thinks they can cry louder than me"

"How do you keep a retard in anticipation?"

"Two deers walk out of a gay bar. And the one says to the other... ""I can't believe I blew Fifty Bucks back there!"""

"I got a new computer yesterday All it does is sing. I think it was a dell"

"when there was one set of footprints in the sand, that was when I tripped and fell but Jesus didn't see and he kept walking for a little bit"

"If I ask my mom to take a picture for me with my phone there is a 99% chance it will be a video of me yelling ""IT'S THE BUTTON ON FRONT!"""

"Stomach: I'm hungry. Brain: Chill out, dude, she's in a meeting. Stomach: I WILL NOW DEMONSTRATE A WHALE'S MATING CALL."

"What's the difference between Ray Charles and Ray Rice? Ray Charles wasn't a one-hit wonder."

"If someone is bothering you with unneccessary calls to your cell number, post their number on eBay with the ad ""iPhone 5S for $1 only"""

"I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said ""You're pulling my leg"""