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Joke of the Day

"Carrots cant float. But if you tie fishy wire to one and hang it in the air and look at it from far away, it almost look like its floating"

Next Joke
 
"The three unwritten rules of /r/cleanjokes are: 1. 2. 3."
"When do you ground an astronaut? When they're astronauty."
"They said she was a cat lady but when I threw her off a small building she didn't land on her feet and now I'm in jail for murder."
"If Clinton gets elected, federal employees will be LEGALLY allowed to consume cannabis! If you smoke, you have to say ""I did not inhale"" and if you do edibles, you have to say ""I did not swallow"""
"My friend got hired at a dildo factory He got fired the very next day for sitting on the job"
"She *blows into Nintendo cartridge* took *blows into Nintendo cartridge* the *blows into Nintendo cartridge* kids"
"Shark Who Attacked Surfer: ""I Was Just Trying To Impress My Girlfriend"""
"How many terrorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? none, they blew it up already."
"SON: The car's manual suggests not to turn the stereo up all the way. DAD: Guess you could say- SON: NO DON'T- DAD: -that's sound advice."