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Joke of the Day

"A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel sticking out his crotch. 'Does that not hurt?' asks the bartender. To which the pirate replies: 'Yaarr, it's driving me nuts!'"

"A transgender person has a child Now he's transparent."

"What do you do when you're attacked by a group of clowns? Go for the juggler"

"Did you hear about the new Marty McFly movie... ...Where he travels back in time to become a florist? It's called Back to the Fuschia."

"I just got fired from the calendar factory All I just did was take a day off..."

"What was the victim of the car crash wearing? A Casualty (Casual-Tee, as in Tee-Shirt) 100% Guraneed Originality You can know for sure I made it up because of how corny it is..."

"Looking for someone willing to kill a man who has wronged me. Unfortunately I can't pay but would be good exposure for an emerging murderer"

"Boss: Can you send the documents Me: I am sinking in the muck of a swamp of ancient pain Boss: Ok just don't forget to send the documents"

"The difference between being erotic and being kinky? It's erotic if you use a feather... ...but it's *kinky* if you use the whole chicken."

"Detective: ok forensics is finished. I'll start here and you- Dog cop: I'll mark our territory [dog cop pees around the crime scene tape]"