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Joke of the Day

"in the darkest corner of my room, dick cheney sits brooding, waiting til i fall asleep. or it's a lampshade. kinda dark and i'm nearsighted."

"How does moses make coffee? Hebrews it"

"Christmas gift What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer."

"I wished I loved anything as much as white people love saying ""gracias"" at Mexican restaurants."

"Why do mathematicians have a hard time moving on in relationships? Because they're always trying to find the x. They don't know y, either."

"I named my son ""Tennis"" but he doesn't mind being bullied about it. He's a good sport really."

"You matter Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then you energy."

"What gets bigger every time I see my wife. My wife."

"The biggest profit I made from going to was college was Selling my t9 calculator"

"I went to a sea-themed disco the other day.. I pulled a muscle."