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Joke of the Day

"Why do mathematicians have a hard time moving on in relationships? Because they're always trying to find the x. They don't know y, either."

"How do you stop guys like Donald Trump from saying racist things? You muzzle 'em."

"What is worst then the holocaust? 6 million Jews"

"Why did the old lady fall into the well? Because she didn't see that well."

"Joe sent me to John this morning... Boy was that meeting complete shit!"

"When I was a little kid, my dad would swear then say ""Excuse my French"" One day the teacher asked if anyone could speak a foreign language and I raised my hand"

"Happy birthday to Jay Leno. Born April 28, 1950. Dies nightly at 11:35 eastern, 10:35 central."

"It is amazing how many problems you can solve by ignoring them."

"I asked for your advice but now I'm angry with you because I don't like your advice."

"I was astonished to learn that the meat in Subway was slaughtered in a traditional Muslim way. I mean how the fuck do they fit a rucksack on a cow?"