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Joke of the Day

"""Why put a baseball bat up when you can just lay it down on a stair in the middle of the stairway? What could go wrong?"" ~My son apparently"

"If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you while you're in the bathroom? European"

"Twitterzoned (by Kevin L. Schwartz) Is ""Twitterzoning"" a thing? ""You're okay as a Twitter friend, but let's not get all Facebook about this."" You've been Twitterzoned."

"A Muslim guy killed 50 people in a mass shooting... Who says they can't integrate into American culture?"

"If the camera really does add 10 pounds Do Ethiopian kids even exist?"

"Want to feel old? Tsar Simeon I of Bulgaria would be 1,150 years old today!"

"Knock knock... Who's there? Eat map. Eat map who? NO THANKS"

"I told my court-appointed therapist I just needed a little piece and quiet. She said, ""Necrophilia is a crime."""

"Life is not like a box of chocolates. It's more like not being allowed to leave the table until you finish your brussels sprouts."

"Bacon and eggs walk into a bar The bartender says ""get out, we don't serve breakfast here"""