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Joke of the Day

"Twitterzoned (by Kevin L. Schwartz) Is ""Twitterzoning"" a thing? ""You're okay as a Twitter friend, but let's not get all Facebook about this."" You've been Twitterzoned."

"Don't talk shit about someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

"At the grocery store, my daughter held up two types of fabric softener... ...and she asked, ""Would you rather have dryer sheets, or dryer balls?"""

"How do you kill a circus clown? Go for the juggler!"

"What did the underweight onion say to the garlic? No more light bulb jokes!"

"That new vet really screwed up my pig's colonoscopy He's pretty ham-fisted"

"what do you call a French OP a baguette"

"What's the difference between a truck full of marbles and a truck full of babies? You can't unload a truck full of marbles with a pitchfork."

"How many chicken does it take to screw in a light bulb? Still counting. Those darned birds can't seem to cross the road to get over here to screw in the light bulb."

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad."