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Joke of the Day

"Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me. now if i were a diamond ring, where would i hide ..."

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"An advent calendar for jehova's witnesses Behind each door, someone tells you to fuck off."
"Which Dinosaurs love electricity? Bulbasaurs"
"Why don't old people have sex? Have you ever tried to open a grilled cheese sandwich?"
"Michael J. Fox is extremely formal... ...he even shakes hands with his wife."
"What's the worst part about working with a gamer? They're always trying to 1-Up you."
"I saw some guy stealing my front gate... -""I saw some guy stealing my front gate."" -""Didn't you say anything?"" -""No, I thought he'd take a fence."""
"I had a dream I was in a part of the US that was filled with nothing but museums. It was State of the Art."
"One time I saw a duck get hit by a wonder bread truck and that's pretty much why I try not to get too ambitious"
"I have to look up the word innuendo... If you know what I mean ;) Courtesy of Suits"