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Joke of the Day
"Why did Windows skip to 10? Because 7 ate 9."
Next Joke
"Why Chinese vet never hungry? Dog have rice."
"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered six offender."
"40 world leaders are in DC tonight. Blocks away, George Clinton is playing a show. Does Joe Biden know what a big funking deal that is?"
"How do you take your coffee? **Barista:** How do you take your coffee? **Customer:** Ferguson Police **Barista:** Huh? **Customer:** Black, two shots."
"At this point the only thing Lady Gaga could do that would shock me is to come out on stage wearing a sensible pantsuit from Talbots."
"What do you call a midget esse? A paragraph. Because he ain't a full esse."
"My sex life is just like Star Wars It's either Han Solo, or I have to use force."
"Seriously guys, people drive like shit when I'm tweeting"
"I ate the last piece of flan that my wife and I have been fighting over I won the custardy battle."