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Joke of the Day

"40 world leaders are in DC tonight. Blocks away, George Clinton is playing a show. Does Joe Biden know what a big funking deal that is?"

"I think my coworkers are gay because every time I walk by, they mumble under their breath ""what an ass!"""

"Actor who had starred in almost every movie. Also Starring"

"I'd like to thank the floor, for always catching me when I'm falling down."

"American light beer is like two people making love in a canoe... fucking close to water"

"My girlfriend hates when I correct her grammar. She's like ""What's with all the red pen marks in my diary?"""

"When you ""assume"" you make an ""ass"" out of ""Ume,"" my Hawaiian buddy, who hates assumptions."

"If you are ever attacked by a group of clowns... Always go for the juggler. . . . Credit: /u/CartoonsAreForKids"

"I just bought a nice 12 year old scotch His parents weren't very pleased."

"How to you read a book? Just reddit."