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Joke of the Day

"Q: What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't? A: Her navel."

"Lady, you misunderstood. When I asked if you would have my kids I didn't mean sex and babies. I meant take the ones I already have."

"Give someone fire and they'll be warm for a day. Throw someone into fire and they'll be warm for the reat of their life."

"What did the cheese maker say when his vat got dumped to the floor? That's no gouda"

"My Lebanese friend knocked over his dip. I had to report him for hummus-side. Edit: changed arrest to report because reasons."

"What do you get if you take off the red dot on the Japanese flag? The French flag!"

"The old lady at the bank An old lady at the bank asked me if I could help her check her balance. So I pushed her over."

"I found out my girlfriend is really into buoyancy. I said ""Whatever floats your boat."""

"What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain"

"I get it, you have a philosophy degree, but I just want you to make my latte, not wax poetic about life, okay Baristotle? Extra foam please."