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Joke of the Day
"You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancee by the way he hasn't murdered her."
Next Joke
"A tachyon leaves a bar... The bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind here."" A tachyon walks into a bar."
"[waking up as an adult] What a beautiful day. I wonder what parts of my body will hurt today"
"Why does the American Border Patrol guard take Xanax? ... ... To stop Hispanic attacks."
"What do you get when you cross Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris? Beat up."
"How do you drown a hipster? IN THE MAINSTREAM! Hahahaahhaahhaahha"
"Live today like it's your last!! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn't."
"The Texas Rangers made it to the World Series? I didn't even know Chuck Norris had a baseball team."
"I'm wearing this hipster's carcass ironically."
"The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room."