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Joke of the Day

"I'm wearing this hipster's carcass ironically."

"I don't care who dies in the movie but it better not be the dog."

"Thanks a lot bathroom doors with the gender written in weird symbols. I just want to pee, not solve a sudoku puzzle."

"Just been confronted by my next door neighbour, apparently there's been items going missing from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants!"

"Am I a good person? No. But do I try to be better every single day? Also no"

"You know what's great about senility? You can hide your own Easter eggs."

"why should you be afraid of a white man in prison? because you know he's guilty."

"Jesus loves you is comforting to hear in church, but terrifying to hear in a Mexican prison."

"Australians don't have sex.. ...they mate."

"What do you call a group of animals who decides to kill themselves? Mass zooicide."