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Joke of the Day

"[feeding baby] Here comes the plane! *baby swallows food* wow you just ate everyone on board. way to go you little jerk"

"I share an office thermostat with a middle aged woman. I'm in a t-shirt while she's rubbing 2 pencils together trying to start a trash fire"

"What do you call it when wolves get bad breath? Howl-itosis."

"New Thanksgiving trend Forget Black fiday how about BLACK RIOT MONDAY"

"Guy getting on elevator in my office building.."" Going Down?"" Me: ""No, but I've got time for a hug"""

"What did one pee drinker say when he surprised the other pee drinker? Urine for a treat!"

"Don't worry about my probation officer, he just likes to watch."

"What do you call an Arabic woman being double penetrated? A sandbitch"

"I love getting Halloween candy... It makes me Snicker(s)."

"Douce! The sound of a water balloon hitting a ""Trick Or Treater"" square in the face. Now try and have a Happy Halloween."