33630

Joke of the Day

"What shape does a muppet follow when throw through the air? Pa-Ra-Bo-La (do doooo do dodo)"

"Whenever my Girlfriend says she's going to ""hit the sack"" I instinctively cover my balls just in case."

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss... but you won't miss. You've trained your whole life for this. Take the shot. Kill the moon."

"Me: Baby-proofed the house like you wanted Wife: Ya? Me: Ya. Locks, fence, barbed wire, the works Her:.. Me: No way a baby's gettin in here."

"I emailed Hillary that to secure a win, she had to pick Bernie as VP. I guess she deleted it."

"""Pharaoh, we have completed the pyramids. They align to communicate with the galaxy"" Sweet. Hey look at these stupid cats I drew LOL"

"*walks up to fountain* *throws in a shiny penny* *crosses fingers* *makes wish* *looks over at mother-in-law* *does throat slash motion*"

"While vacationing in Turkey a second time, I couldn't keep the Arabicnames straight, but I saw many familiar fezzes."

"What do Trump voters use as bookmarks? Lit matches."

"Some people are so poor, all they have is money."