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Joke of the Day

"What is the definition of a caterpillar ? A worm in a fur coat !"

"[PRESS CONFERENCE] Me: I'm going on the record. Yes, I'd go back in time to kill a baby Reporter: you mean Baby Hitler? Me: sure, whoever"

"Where does monty python buy his water? From the knights Da-sa(y)-NI! This joke is best delivered verbally."

"When pigs have a party who jumps out of the cake? Nobody. The pigs all jump in."

"13: Dad, do you believe in miracles? Me: Do you remember spray painting my car? 13: yeah M: Are you breathing? 13: yeah M: Well, there ya go"

"I am not a gay man.. And neither is my husband !"

"What did the spice scream during sex? Thyme cumin!"

"I think I'm overcoming dyslexia. I learned a new abbreviation today: DNA, or National Dyslexic Association."

"Is it okay to hate a certain race? I can run a 5k pretty well but these 10ks are killing me."

"I can never remember if X is hug and O is kiss or if it's the other way around, so sorry if our tic-tac-toe game starts off a little weird."