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Joke of the Day

"Where does monty python buy his water? From the knights Da-sa(y)-NI! This joke is best delivered verbally."

"My friend died from heart burn the other day. My friend Gavin was killed by a terrible case of heart burn yesterday. I can't fucking believe Gavisgone."

"I'm writing a movie script about a group of Kenyan refugees who are breaking track records in a suburban American high school... I call it, ""Fast times at Ridgemont High"""

"Him: Favorite workout? Me: Pilates. Him: Why? Me: Because we lay down for an hour."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Butcher ! Butcher who ? Butcher your arms around me !"

"The apocalypse is apparently signaled by trumpets... ...might have been a typo though, it could have been Trump/Pence"

"What is the difference between New York City and the deep south? In the deep south they at least had a show trial before letting murders walk free."

"What do you call a time traveler who masturbated in the future? A blast from the past."

"packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip unpacks 3 months after coming home"

"My drug dealer really cracks me up. Ayyy."