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Joke of the Day

"What batteries do turtles use? Durashells"

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"Pyramid schemes... Wrong on so many levels"
"What's the similarity between a woman & a condom? [NSFW] They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick"
"Whats that when you keep moving constantly produces something white ? Its toothbrush dear dirty minded people.."
"Atleast my crippling depression keeps me going I'm a real self-loathivator"
"What does a psychologist wear to bed? A Freudian slip."
"Haven't refilled my prescriptions in a while. Which has been instrumental creating the mass grave beneath this wood shed."
"Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy now doesn't mean you aren't headed for sunshine."
"Me: - Sweetie, why is the bottle of whiskey half empty? Wife: - Because you're a pessimist, honey!"
"Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time? Young player: OK I'll come back in a year's time!"