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Joke of the Day

"This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club ..but I'd never met herbivore."

"Why did the hipster burn his mustache on his coffee? ...he was totally drinking it before it was cool."

"Let's make a collection of shock humour/disgusting jokes"

"Have you heard that there's a new mountain website? Really? I must take a peak at it!"

"i was just about to ramp my car off a cliff into the ocean but then i remembered someone had told me to drive safe earlier"

"Yesterday, I got so depressed.. ..I spent entire day listening to Celine Dion records. . . Or that's what I thought until I realised my cat had fallen in to the dryer."

"There is a button on my microwave that says ""super clown"" and I do not ever push that button"

"There are three types of people in this world: The ones who can count, and the ones who can't."

"5,""So we don't get to open any presents today?"" Me, ""No."" 5, ""So basically Thanksgiving is just Christmas for your tummy, right?"""

"I dress up as a Girl Scout for my boyfriend, but just so we can practice our elaborate cookie heist."