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Joke of the Day

"Early reports say Robin Williams died from arson.... But I Doubtfire."

"I want to start a subreddit to help people with Erectile Dysfunction... ..but I'm having trouble getting it up. ^*cringe*"

"Hey, I fucked your mom last night. *Sigh* I know dad..."

"My wife doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. This is all I'm spending for her Christmas present. So far she's getting a McChicken."

"Are the Polish for or against abductions? Maybe I should take a poll"

"So the other day I was pressing my clothes But it turned out I had just made even more creases. I was so upset. I guess I couldn't handle the irony."

"I Thought having a vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant... But apparently it just changes the colour of the baby"

"Eyecare Clerk: And for $79 we can coat your lenses with anti-glare. Me: Is that intended to benefit me or the people I glare at?"

"The guy that invented the heimlich maneuver died today... needless to say I'm a little choked up"

"What do you call a black ninja? Incog-negro."