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Joke of the Day

"What do politicians and sperm have in common? About 1 in every 600 million has a chance of becoming a human."

"I'm not saying you're on twitter too much, but your six-year-old is running an arms trade with the Mexican drug cartel out of his tree fort."

"What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before they were married? Fiancee"

"What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!"

"Why has /r/jokes won an environmental award? Everything gets recycled."

"Why did Bibi Netanyahu lie on a couch licking his balls? Likud."

"Did you hear about the guy who took some dude's ear off with a vacuum cleaner? His name was Mike Dyson."

"What vocation can transform anything into a gate? A reporter."

"What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race? ""The track is alright."""

"What is the worst animal std? Gatoraids"