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Joke of the Day
"What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!"
Next Joke
"Me: I get most of my tweeting material from you son. 9: I'm glad I expire you. Me: See what I mean."
"My father trusted no one. Even had a saying about it. But he wouldn't tell me."
"I saw a man drinking brake fluid. But then he stopped."
"Did Russell Crow feel bad after he ate his wife? Nah! He was Gladiator!"
"I SAW ON THE NEWS THAT SOME GUY IN ANOTHER STATE DIED ARE YOU OKAY - my mom"
"What does a man with one leg wear to the beach? Flop."
"I bought a locket today and put my own picture in it.... Now I can truly think of myself as Independent."
"Why are all updates to Apple stuff piratical? Because they all involve iPatches."
"Wanna see some black magic? Sorry, i meant African American Magic"