33239

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is (-100). She's definitely a 10, but she's imaginary."

"Happy April's fools! ... No really, what did you expect?"

"What's blue and doesn't fit? An epileptic at the bottom of a pool."

"The other day I was scraping leftovers into the garbage... ...and I couldn't help but think of those poor kids in Africa who don't have any garbage bins."

"You can learn a lot about your kids by helping them with their homework for example, mine are idiots."

"Jim: Tim, see if the indicator lights are working... Tim: Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no..."

"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the jaw!"

"*buys extra movie ticket seat so I'll have a place to put my microwave bc I'll be damned if I'm paying that much for popcorn"

"What's the difference between a joke and a retorical question?"

"You know who'd make a good hobbit? Elijah would."