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Joke of the Day

"I gave every penny I had to the homeless guy the other day! Now I just have 20 $100 bills in my purse!"

"Plays tetris. Gets a circle."

"What can be found in a Judge's freezer? Just ice."

"People dating on the internet have it so easy. Back in my day, a man would walk uphill both ways in the snow to disappoint a woman."

"TIL Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 per cent TL;DR It was wedding cake"

"Time travelers never have a good excuse for being late."

"My mum at night: Good night, sweet dreams I love you. My mum in the morning: Wake the fuck up you lazy piece of shit."

"I've developed a fear of imitation ale, It's a faux beer."

"I like my violence like I like my beer.. Domestic."

"I'm not saying don't trust the internet but there's an alarming discrepancy between the number of ipads I've won & the number of ipads I own."