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Joke of the Day

"What sound does a bloated dead horse make when you beat it? If you're still waiting for a punchline, why are you here?"

"What is a Minnesotan's favorite state to vacation in? It's Alaska, don'Juneau."

"Why won't the machines just take over already? I'm tired of doing stuff."

"These notebooks need to move on with their lives. Yeah ""College Ruled"", get over it. You're in the real world now."

"What kind of punch hurts children the most? A sandy hook."

"Wanna hear a joke? Feminism (I'm going to hell anyway, the least i can do is have fun on the way)"

"Why did the condom cross the road? It got pissed off."

"Generally speaking, a woman's hotness is directly proportional to the number of times your wife calls her a whore."

"When asked about whether or not Arnold Schwarzenegger upgraded to Windows 10... ...He replied ""I still love Vista, baby"""

"Wanna hear a dirty joke? Billy played in the mud. Wanna hear a clean joke? Billy took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear another dirty joke? Bubbles is his neighbour."