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Joke of the Day

"Why won't the machines just take over already? I'm tired of doing stuff."

"You mama's so fat"

"Did you hear about the Buddhist Viking? He believed he'd be Bjorn again"

"Guy stole my bike so I got in a cab & said follow that guy! He said sure, whats his twitter name? We laughed & hi-fived & I need a new bike"

"What do fat white chicks and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans."

"The Internet: An electronic version of, ""Now, why did I walk into this room?"""

"we call em houseplants like thats where they belong but its just where we put em thats like if u threw me in the sewer & called me sewer boy"

"Two chemists walk into a bar... The first one said ""I want some H2O please"".The other chemist said ""I'd like some H2O too"".Then he died."

"Hitler is judged very harshly by history, but... He did kill Hitler. Joke credit to Jimmy Carr on QI"

"What do you get when you goose a ghost? A handful of sheet!"