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Joke of the Day
"How do you guys tweet from the toilet? I poop with both hands."
Next Joke
"I've never laughed at anything any of you losers have posted here on this forum. It's sad as fuck."
"Hello! Is it me you're looking for? Hello! Is it me you're looking for? Hello! Is it me you're looking for? (Lionel Richie, speed dating)"
"What do you call five African-Americans born together? Triplets."
"Based on the number of nurses on twitter, I now know why I'm bleeding to death in the ER."
"When my friends say I'm too rational, I tell them to go 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 themselves."
"You're in love and I couldn't be happier for you. But can you let go of each other's hands for four seconds so I can get past you on the f*ckin sidewalk?"""
"My grandfather's final words before he kicked the bucket were... ""I'm gonna kick this bucket!"""
"Curiosity killed the cat... Why the hell was she on Mars?"
"They told me I would miss my family. I never miss at close range."