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Joke of the Day

"For a week I've been telling my kid ""If your cough isn't better tomorrow, you're going to the doctor!"" and it finally worked. (She died.)"

Next Joke
 
"What if sun screen is really just a seasoning rub created by aliens."
"I've had many traumatic experiences with Mexicans... I don' wanna taco 'bout it."
"Fine wine I like my women like I like my wine, 9 years old and in my basement"
"I like my coffee like I like my women Cinnamon roasted, french pressed, with bit of sugar, and I'll add my own cream."
"[commercial] ""This commercial is so confusing. I wish they would just tell us what they're selling"" narrator: Narrators"
"My friend got a nice new ride, but no one wants to drive him around in it Now he's got all that car and nothing to chauffeur it."
"Loving someone and not expressing it is like wrapping a gift and not giving it."
"What do you call a sinking ship from BP's Mexico division? A Pedro leak."
"Remember when you used Twitter to update friends & family on where you were, & what you were doing? Yeah, me neither."