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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many movie directors does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just one but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done everyone thinks that his last lightbulb was much better."

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"Santorum I thought he didn't believe in pulling out?"
"Why is a marriage like a hurricane? They both start off sucking and blowing, but you end up losing your house."
"When will my dog ever get the hint that my leg ""just wants to be friends."""
"A classic Tommy Cooper gag * I said to the gym teacher: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' * He said: 'How flexible are you?' * I said: 'I can't make Tuesdays.'"""
"Detective: Do you think I should put on the cuffs? Criminal: Why? You look good in short sleeves."
"What does a blind pornstar say when she's surprised? I did not see that cumming...."
"If a white woman goes to the Caribbean and doesn't get cornrows did the trip even happen?"
"A haunted house that has a room where a bunch of women ask you ""Notice anything different about my hair?"""
"How can you tell an auto mechanic just had sex? One of his fingers is clean"