195037
Joke of the Day
"How can you tell an auto mechanic just had sex? One of his fingers is clean"
Next Joke
"I find if you sprinkle some bacon bits on a salad, but don't actually add any salad, then its a pretty good salad."
"What do you call a yellow Oreo? An orienteo!"
"Are you an ideal amount of red phosphorus and am I a proportioned tiny wooden stick? Because we're a match!"
"When I meet someone new I shake their hand really fast and whisper ""yes, please don't stop"" because people need to learn not to talk to me."
"[talks about how badass wolves are for 20 mins] date: can we talk about something else? [pulls out powerpoint on why wolves are badass] No"
"Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow ? Pupil: Yes the cow ate all the grass !"
"I got arrested for punching this guy at a new years eve party..... when you here an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in."
"*Shakespeare resetting his password* ""Enter new password."" Fortnight ""Your password is two weeks."""
"I hope there's not a huge turnout at my Claustrophobic's Anonymous meeting tonight."