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Joke of the Day
"What's grey and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds ? An elephant with hiccups !"
Next Joke
"It's ironic that pregnant people have to order virgin drinks."
"What's the difference between oral sex and...... Brussel Sprouts? If you're forced to have either as a kid you're going to hate it as an adult."
"A cashier asks a feminist, "" Cash or credit?"" She replies: "" Did you just assume my tender?"""
"Googled woodworking. Broke my coffee table down and built a birdhouse. Desk is now a birdhouse too. Pretty much everything's a birdhouse now"
"extremely suspicious that there's no information about brains that didn't come from a brain"
"What is a cat's favorite vacation spot? Maui."
"[girl points at my scar] What happened? Oh that? Old sports injury. [flashback to me sprinting after an ice cream truck]"
"""Dad, what's a sponsored tweet?"" ""A way for Twitter to make money, I guess. Now, pass the Metamucil with 100% Natural Psyllium Fiber."""
"What's the difference between harass and annoy? I have never had my finger in annoy. Edit: NSFW.. depending where you work, I guess."