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Joke of the Day

"You can call John Lennon a genius all you want, but the simple fact is he married Yoko Ono. Thats a big strike against the genius part."

"An atheist's response to witnessing the second coming of Christ. ""Well, I'll be damned."""

"Have you seen the new film called Constipation? It hasn't come out yet."

"I need to get baked ...goods for the staff party this afternoon."

"I could retire today and live happily for the rest of my life.... so long as I die by noon, thursday."

"What happened to Windows 9 Windows 7 ""Eight"" Nine..."

"smh, I bought tickets to Disney on ice & it was just 2 hours of Donald Duck smoking crystal meth"

"2 black eyes What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, I already told her twice."

"Did you hear the one about the German who couldn't find his fruit cake? It was Stollen."

"Jesus died for our sins. But then he came back to life. Pretty sure that breaks the deal."