94117

Joke of the Day

"Went to Whole Foods today, because we needed $157 worth of pesto and breads that will be stale in an hour."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Well, I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face"

"What is the best way to stop rape? Consent"

"What do eggs do for fun? They crack jokes."

"I love you so much that I would wait for your photo to load on my slow Internet connection."

"How do you contact a cross dresser? Shemail"

"I asked a Jewish person what they do in their spare time Apparently Hebrews."

"Day two of the Insanity Workout. Half hour of talking to a lamp. Half hour of eating mulch. Fifty YouTube comments."

"What do you call a lamppost in Niger? Progress."

"what do you call two crows on a branch? attempted murder"