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Joke of the Day

"My dad was cutting up Onions and I started crying. Onions was a great dog."

"I've decided to teach postcolonial theory instead of seventeenth-century poetry. Because, you know, easier Said than Donne."

"A peeping tom fell out if a tree, where did he end up? In the ICU"

"If things around you don't change, change the thing you're around."

"Relationships are all about finding someone that works opposite hours than you so you never have to see them."

"Why did the director get kicked out of the bar? He was making a scene!"

"What do you call people so good at their jobs, they retire because they did everything? The mythbusters and ghostbusters."

"this one has claws This one swims but can't fly This one is huge & runs funny This one bangs his head against trees - god making birds"

"Me: Where were you supposed to poop? 2-year-old: The potty. Me: So why didn't you? 2: I'm too busy."

"Here's an oldie but a goodie. Your Mom."