10919

Joke of the Day

"Stoners are gearing up to do on 4/20 what they do every other day of the year."

"I was confronted by an angry man today. I told him I come in peace Apparently that's something you shouldn't say to Peace's boyfriend"

"How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family."

"Did you hear about the convict who refused to take a nap? He was resisting a rest."

"Watching a Sarah McLachlan concert on TV on a Saturday night. It's funny, this wasn't on my bucket list yet I feel so close to actual death."

"Life is like toilet paper you're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole."

"I think we all know Lincoln Chaffee won the Democratic debate last night."

"Black magic is just like regular magic, but with bigger wands."

"How do you measure a Villanova graduate's I.Q.? With a tire gauge."

"What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness? Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason."