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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the oven at ~~three fifty~~ tree fiddy until it's Bill Withers. Edit:summoning happened."

Next Joke
 
"My fire alarm just went off because I took my shower. Ya, I know I'm hot when I'm naked, but come on now, let's all just calm down."
"Dogs can't operate an MRI. But cats can."
"A Ghost dressed up as human for Halloween Ghost knocks on neighbor's door: ""Trick or treat!"" Neighbor says to his wife, ""That's the spirit""."
"Can you stop making holocaust jokes? My grandfather died in Auschwitz He fell out of a guard tower."
"What do you say to a vampire when he graduates from college? Coagulations!"
"Most girls: ""I hangout with guys, there's less drama."" Me: ""I hangout by myself. There's no drama"
"A duck waddles into a lake... The geese say 'Hi Dave!' The boss faints."
"I was feeling down the other day, so I threw some bleach over my Muslim friend... I thought it'd lighten Mahmood."
"My dog and I are just drivin around, listenin to music and OMG DOG DO YOU EVEN HAVE A LICENSE? PAWS AT 10 AND 2. DO NOT FOLLOW THAT SQUIRREL"