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Joke of the Day

"Dogs can't operate an MRI. But cats can."

"Do robots have sisters ? No just transistors !"

"Why won't men perform oral on women the morning after sex? Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"It's not that Jake couldn't juggle It's that he didn't have the balls to do it"

"""I can't wait until this one orange erases years of poor eating choices."" -me, dieting"

"Q: What do you get when you cross a poisonous snake with a horse? A: I dunno, but if it bites you, you can ride it to the hospital!"

"My daughter just entered singing ""Love you like a love song"". So, your love has a 3 1/2 minute expiration date? Well, I guess that's honest."

"I tried to bring my dead friend to class with me, but the teacher kicked him out. Guess he's too ghoul for school."

"If you're not supposed to drink shampoo why do they make it in such pretty colors?"

"*angrily whispering over crib* ""Sheila you know I was raised by wolves. I have to pay it forward."" ""But why do they need their own cribs?"""