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Joke of the Day

"*quits Twitter to spend time with family* *remembers what family is like* *quits family for Twitter*"

"A giant porn conspiracy has been uncovered.... It was run by the illuminaughty"

"It is said the population of sheep in New Zealand is 60 Million. How did they stay awake to figure THAT one out?"

"What does Verizon wireless and abortion clinics have in common? They both have early termination fees"

"Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before Glee,' almost watchable."

"What do you call a root beer in a square glass? Beer"

"A man walks into a cafe... splash!"

"Has anyone heard the joke about the baby with AIDS? It never gets old."

"When I die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. ... ... not screaming in terror like his passengers."

"Parkour or plastic? *bounces away with your groceries*"