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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pot head and a person who physically abuses children? One is good at rolling blunts, the other is good at bowling runts."

"When I was younger, I thought I had a Chinese friend. But it was just my imaginasian."

"If you eat the prize from a cereal box.. does that make you a specially marked box? source: soos says some words"

"Pixar has made me feel affection towards rats, bugs, fish, robots, monsters and even cars. The real test would be a movie about coworkers."

"""What would you say is your greatest weakness?"" Probably my tendency to stalk and murder people who won't hire me."

"I love my girlfriend, but... My wife hates her!"

"I hate when waitresses flirt with me.. I can't tell if they just want the tip or if they want just the tip."

"What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The Wheelchair"

"Why did the console gamer get a headache at the art museum? Too many frames."

"Friend: So, you are distantly related to the family next door, are you? Me: Yes, their dog is our dog's brother."