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Joke of the Day

"What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The Wheelchair"

"I broke my can opener.... .... I guess it was a can't opener. Source: happened when I tried to open a can of soup this morning."

"So a vegan crossfitter and a homophobic priest simultaneously walk in to a bar.. Then they both went to the hospital for head wounds."

"What's a martian's favorite wine? Chardonayy."

"Most of my parenting skills come from watching Animal Planet."

"What did one suicide bomber say to the next? Nothing, he just waved. #punchlinesthatdontwork"

"-You think I'd make a bad Private Eye 'cause I can't read body language? I will prove you wrong! -Sir, you're talking to the murder victim"

"As a gift to my girlfriend, Tola, I tattooed her name on myself in the mirror. I think that says alot."

"What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're a teen."

"I'm dating an older woman. When i go down you know what it tastes like? Depends..."