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Joke of the Day

"My desires are... unconventional. (Hands you a phone and makes you call my boss and quit my job for me)"

"All I'm saying is that Miley Cyrus was on the Disney Channel and had her clothes on when Bush was president. Thanks, Obama."

"Where is the 'L' in christmas? There is noel"

"If you can't handle me at my worst that makes sense and I'm sorry for setting your house on fire."

"The Force can make you lift a spaceship out of the swamp, but proper sentence structure teaching, it can not."

"A lady goes into the dry cleaners Lady: ""I was wondering if you could get this stain out of my blouse"" The Clerk: ""Come again?"" Lady: ""No, this time it's just yogurt"""

"I hate the French They give me the Crepes"

"Why Asians are good at everything? Because they're Asians, not Bsians"

"Why are atoms untrustworthy? They make up everything. Credit to /u/ipsokinetikon from an askreddit thread about what not to trust."

"I asked a friend if he'd eat a piece of dog crap for $1K and he asked ""From whose dog?"" I'm having a hard time accepting that as a factor."