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Joke of the Day

"Mistakenly punched premium at the gas pump today and now I have to sell one of my kids to the circus."

"A new bike company says it has the best wheels in the world. According to their spokesperson."

"#MarriedPeopleIssues You hang up.. No, you hang up... You hang up.... Noooo, you hang up. They're your clothes. I'm not your maid."

"""Stop putting words into my mouth!"" ""Fine, eat your alphabet soup by yourself."""

"What do you call a homosexual on rollerskates? Rolaids!"

"[2:30AM] *it's quite late now. Let's make a call* *Hey Boss, are you sleepin?* [Yes you nerd, why?] *cause I'm still doing your stupid work*"

"If you smell Axe body spray on your lawyer you're going to jail."

"What type of Martial Arts does Jesus know? Jiu Jitsu."

"What was Hitler's greatest accomplishment? He killed Hitler"

"Is the EU working out? It lost a few pounds this summer."