32259

Joke of the Day

"Guys I have to work a total of like 18 hours today. Someone hold me. Under water."

"Joe Paterno was such a good coach... ...that after he died, he won another 112 games."

"We'll all be making some serious Zellweger face on the toilet tomorrow."

"You would never know I had a college degree if you saw how many times I tried to push when it says pull."

"A guy walks into a Starbucks and orders a tall blonde to go... The girl behind him then leaves."

"How do you fit 100 dead babies in a barrel? with a blender. How do you get them out? With a straw."

"My ex got drunk and left me at a bar so I called the police and reported a drunk driver.. #topahole"

"Why did the can crusher hate his job? Because it was soda pressing"

"What does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten tickles."

"What does batman like adding to his drinks? JUST-ICE"