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Joke of the Day

"Trump is such a good businessman that he literally wrote the book on business! Everyone should read it! Its too bad that it only goes up to chapter 11 though..."

"I hope I'm not the only one who hovers over someone when they use my favorite pen just so they know I'm serious about wanting it back."

"Why did the stoplight turn red? Well, wouldn't you turn red if you were caught changing in the middle of the street?"

"Redditor and the Hooker . . . you won't *BELIEVE* what she told him! Keep the LPTs and give me my sixty dollars."

"What did Jesus say to the man with leprocy? OOPS! GOT YOUR NOSE!"

"Yet another Chuck Norris joke. Chuck Norris caught all the Pokemon using a payphone."

"Are you writing a thank you letter to Grandma like I told you to? Yes Mom. Your handwriting seems very large. Well Grandma's very deaf so I'm writing very loudly."

"I won't do standup right now... Let me wipe my ass first."

"Why did man invent the shipping cart? To teach women how to stand on their hind legs."

"Nobody told Ahmed about the clock change so he blew himself up in the garage."