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Joke of the Day

"Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00"

"I bet the creator of the artificial heart is pretty pissed that we still use ""sliced bread"" as our basis for great inventions."

"The very first thing you learn in life is how to think outside the box."

"Whats the funniest joke you know? You."

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy."

"A man lost his arms, legs and torso gambling. Fortunately he quit while he was a head."

"Graphene can do everything... Except leave the lab. :)"

"pushing an obese dude down a hill wasn't what i had in mind when you asked me if i wanted to roll a fatty."

"The older I get, the more I understand why Squidward is always so annoyed."

"I don't have a Facebook or Twitter account... ...so I just go around announcing out loud what I'm doing at random times. I've got 3 followers so far, but I think 2 are cops."