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Joke of the Day

"I don't have a Facebook or Twitter account... ...so I just go around announcing out loud what I'm doing at random times. I've got 3 followers so far, but I think 2 are cops."

"Good one computer geniuses, you made everything ""user friendly"" and ""intuitive"" and now idiots are on the internet commenting on everything."

"What do you call an angry wind? A cross breeze."

"Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug on his floor. The bear isn't actually dead. It's just too afraid to move."

"I went on a blind date once... ...her name was ....:::..... ::...:..:...:"

"Hey people who say ""look at our new baby"", thanks for clarifying that because my initial reaction was to ask where you got the used baby"

"What's the difference between Iron Man And Iron Woman? Iron Man is a superhero, Iron Woman is a command."

"They say real men hunt their food, which is why I throw a spear through the box of pasta before letting it bleed out in my shopping cart."

"What's the difference between rape and extortion? How you spell blackmail"

"I don't understand interventions. What's the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?"