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Joke of the Day
"A man lost his arms, legs and torso gambling. Fortunately he quit while he was a head."
Next Joke
"How do Asians see the world? In widescreen."
"""How many people here believe in ghosts?"""
"The Whale was uneasy. ""I'm afraid Jonah is not satisfied with his accommodations"" said the whale. ""What gave you that idea?"" queried the octopus. ""Oh, I have inside information"" said the whale."
"Toilet paper has a lot of other uses! Your baby? Boom. It's a mummy. Your dog? Boom. Mummydog. This lamp? Boom. Your living room is on fire."
"barista: name for the latte? me: it's Zach with an ""h"" *two minutes later* barista: i've got a latte for Hach"
"When my mate turned 40, I sent him a CD in the mail... When my mate turned 40, I sent him a CD in the mail: UB40 A month later, on my 40th, I received a CD in the mail from him: U2"
"[creation] GOD: You will each have a flaw BAT: I am blind SNAKE: I am deaf DOG: My breath is a little bad"
"Duck Dynasty guy is right-- if we baptize all those ISIS guys, Iraq will be safe because Christians never start wars for bullshit reasons."
"Knock Knock / Who's There? / Benghazi / Benghazi who? I knew you'd forget about me if Trump won."