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Joke of the Day

"If I were God I would say I'm going to fill the ocean with water but when the Subway employee wasn't looking fill it with Sprite instead."

"Thinking that you're on speaking terms with God is like finding out you've been playing both parts in an episode of ""Catfish"""

"My sister asked me who sings the 'Black Beatles' song [OC] I told her probably John Melanin."

"Why did the blind lady fall into a well? She didn't see that well."

"If a tree falls in the woods, and there are no English majors around to hear it... does is lay on the ground, or lie?"

"What do you get when you mix a joke and a rhetorical question?"

"Is Israel Real? if Palestinians eyes are real?"

"Plateaus... ...are the highest form of flattery."

"What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me, I'm going in."

"I used to think ""I hope I don't do anything stupid."" Now it's more like ""I hope whatever stupid shit I do at least fits in a tweet."""