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Joke of the Day
"Mickey Mouse hangs himself... He doesn't die though, it's just a case of suspended animation."
Next Joke
"WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear."
"I sell property based in vietnam after WWII, people tell me i fucked up everyone there in the 60s My name is agent orange"
"Me: *breathes* *gains weight*"
"The other day, a wizard offered to turn me into a cat. The suggestion gave me pause."
"I asked two Uber drivers to pick each other up and am watching them chase each other in circles around my block until they run out of gas."
"My wife is an angel. All my friends are jealous because their wives are still alive."
"This 5p bag tax is great I can get a 10bag for 50p"
"First boy: My dad saw a horrible witch and didn't turn a hair! Second boy: I'm not surprised - your dad's bald!"
"What is an Actor? A man who tries to be everything but himself"